The 5 Self-Love Languages: Acts of Service

Most everyone is familiar with the five love languages explained in the book by Gary Chapman. As I've been working with a therapist to heal from trauma, it occurred to me that self-care is another word for self-love. So, I wanted to share some ideas on how to show self-love based on your love language. Because I want to keep things short and sweet (like a pineapple), I'll share a different post for each language. Today's self-love language that I want to write about is "Acts of Service."

Acts of Service as a means of self-love are the hardest of the five love languages to accomplish. If you want to show love to someone whose language is acts of service, you would probably cook dinner or do the dishes. However, doing service for yourself takes a bit of a different perspective. Can you perform acts of kindness for yourself? What does it look like?

Maybe you are like me and don't enjoy cooking dinner. For some, this may look like skipping out on cooking dinner and eating out. On a personal note, the more we eat out, the less satisfied we get. Yes, it's convenient, but we've developed our collection of delicious recipes that eating at restaurants doesn't satisfy our tastebuds like it used to. I've found that dinner must be cooked regardless, but maybe cook something special you've been craving. Or try out a new recipe. Or perhaps you just cooked up a quick spaghetti dinner, but self-love might look like setting the table with your fancy dishes. There are ways to incorporate self-care into your everyday task of cooking dinner.

If doing the laundry and vacuuming are things you enjoy doing and bring you a feeling of calm, then do them with the intent of doing them as self-love because it feels good to you, not because it's a chore needed before your holiday guests arrive. Do your tasks with a mindful attitude of self-care, and they will seem lighter.

Do something silly while you do the never-ending list. When I was a Freshman in college, I would wear a tiara or ninja headband while doing the dishes. Something so simple helped me to relax from the stress of school. I would get silly laughs and looks from my roommates, but it can make the boring things of life more fun if you put some imagination into it. Why not wear a tiara or dance around the house as you put things away??

Take some time away from the daily chores and do something you've wanted, like try a new hobby or relish one you've not done in a while. For example, I've wanted to try photography; I have a camera on my desk. If I wanted to give an act of service to myself, I could take an hour or two and do some photography because the laundry can be put away later.

Or perhaps you enjoy listening to music or audiobooks while doing chores. As an act of service to yourself, don't rush through your tasks to get the list done; savor your listening time.

This next one might not make sense, but bear with me. Serving others can be an act of self-love and care. There can be many reasons to serve others, and choosing to serve others has many benefits. One is that as we serve others, we can feel God's love, an act of service that helps us. Another is that serving others helps us to focus on things that have nothing to do with our trials. During my ectopic pregnancy, I was participating in the Light the World Campaign, which helped me focus on serving others instead of the emotional turmoil and grief I felt. After my miscarriage, I focused on my volunteer work with the young women at church, which gave me the motivation to get up and get moving instead of lying around in my depression and anxiety. So, serving others in your community can be an act of service for others and yourself.

Another way that serving others can benefit your life is that it requires you to get out of the house and daily routines. This can help your mental health by shaking things up from the daily grind and burnout.

There you have it; Acts of Service with the right mindset can be done as a demonstration of Self-Love and care. If you would like to participate in the Light the World Campaign this holiday season, please click the link to their website. To learn how to serve in your local area, visit JustServe.org. Their website can help you find ways to serve based on your skill set and interests.

Check back next week for another of the 5 Self-Love Languages.