5 Tips to Train your Spirit for Better Mental Health
- Katherine Hobbs
- May 30, 2022
- 8 min read
Have you ever noticed how hard it can be to feel close to God when your mental health is not doing well? For me, I thought it was all in my head that I couldn't feel God while I was coping with anxiety, depression, and trauma from loss. I often thought if only I had more faith? While it may be hard to feel God while in despair, know that he is there and if we continue to trust and seek him we can break through and feel his love.
Note: This is the second in a three-part series that will discuss ways to train your mind, body, and spirit as we cope with negative emotions due to infertility, miscarriage, or stillbirth. Because the mind, body, and spirit are so closely connected the tips shared here will also affect the other two. I also want to note here that I am not a trained professional, these are simply tools that I have personally found helpful.
I realize that religion can look different for many people. I will be writing from my personal beliefs as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. However, please don't let that dissuade you from finding similar threads in your connection with God.
Prayer
When our infertility journey began in 2016 and 2017, I spent a lot of time praying and pleading with God to send me a baby. I wish I could report that my prayers were beautiful and full of faith. Most of my prayers were probably accusatory and angry. Things got a little better after I had my daughter in 2018. But after the loss of my second baby due to an ectopic pregnancy, my prayers returned to being angry, and eventually, I didn't even want to pray anymore. On rare occasions when I did pray my prayers were out of habit and didn't have much heart in them.
As I've been recovering from my most recent miscarriage, I hit a breaking point where I realized I wasn't going to pull through without God's help. So decided to improve my relationship with God through prayer. Over the past few months, my prayers have started changing. Instead of asking him why things weren't working the way I wanted, I've been starting to say as Christ did, "thy will be done". I've also started to change my focus from "please, give me a baby" to please give me comfort and help me to heal and trust thy plan. I know that I have a long way to go to repair my relationship with God. I hope as I continue to pray he will forgive me and that I can feel his love to help me through these trying times.
I know prayer can take many forms depending on your religious background, but the video above is a good summary of the power of prayer in our lives. If you are not religious and don't know how to pray, here are four easy steps to get started.
Fasting
When you hear about fasting a lot of people picture the popular restriction diet or preparation for a medical procedure. However, in a religious sense, fasting is different. Fasting is voluntarily abstaining from something for a set amount of time and with a specific purpose in mind. In my church, this is usually abstaining from food and water for 24 hours or two consecutive meals. To begin a fast we usually start with a prayer to tell God what specific purpose we are fasting for. I've had many fasts where I was asking for a baby, improved mental health, or improved relationships. Then after you have performed the fast you close with another prayer. I've found fasting helps me to feel more connected to God and it strengthens my faith when he answers my prayer. However, like most prayers, it is left to God's timing for when he answers.
If you are unable to fast from food, there are many other ways you can fast. For example, you can do a social media fast, where you don't go on social media for a day. Or maybe you try not to swear for a week. The important thing with fasting is that you turn to God and trust his plan. Here is more information about what fasting looks like.
Sacred Spaces
Most major religions have a sacred space or place, a church, synagogue, cathedral, or temple. For my church, our weekly Sunday services and other activities are held in a church meeting house. In addition to churches, we also have sacred temples, that we believe to be the House of God. In the temple, we make sacred covenants (promises) with God, which can take a lot of preparation. In the temple, we can also bind our families for eternity. The temple holds a special place in my heart for several reasons.
My younger sister Jessica was adopted into my family when I was 15 years old Because she isn't part of our family by blood my parents took her to the temple where she was sealed as a part of our family not only in this life but also in the next. I have a lot of peace and joy in my heart to know she will be my sister forever.
When my husband and I were married in 2015 we chose to have a special ceremony performed in the Boise Idaho Temple, which means that we are not only married until "death do us part" but we will be together forever. As part of this ceremony, we are also promised that our children will also be ours for eternity.
Years later, in December 2020 when I was preparing for emergency surgery for my ectopic pregnancy the anesthesiologist told me to pick a picture that I wanted to have in my mind, and this picture of the Logan Utah temple is the one I thought of:
The Logan Utah Temple is my favorite temple, and I picked a temple because even though I won't get to have my baby here on earth, I have God's promise to have them in the next life. I desperately wished to go to the temple following my loss, but due to covid, the Temples were closed. However, I was able to cling to my temple covenants until we could attend again.
Thankfully after my recent miscarriage, we were able to travel down to the Atlanta Georgia Temple. It was so peaceful to be in God's house during that moment. I went into the temple feeling very lost and broken, but as I was there I found a new perspective and strength to press forward. Most importantly I felt at peace.
Now I don't know what sacred places my readers may have, but I invite you to go often. Find God's love wherever you are. If you don't have a sacred place, find a temple or spend time in nature and seek God's peace and comfort there. Or maybe you have a special place in your home that you can have as a sanctuary.
Family History
Do you know who your ancestors are? Do you know where they came from? What challenges did they face? As I was growing up my Grandma Dorothy often told me stories of my ancestors who faced challenges as they were crossing the ocean to come to America, pioneering across the American frontier, love letters exchanged, or chasing donkeys with a broomstick. Somehow these stories helped me find a connection to them even though I never met them.
The very last scripture of the Old Testament says, the prophet Elijah will come and "shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers" (Malachi 4:6) I believe that as we learn more about our ancestors, we can be strengthened in our trials, and also find spiritual strength in preparation of the return of Jesus Christ.
After college, I worked for a company called FamilySearch as a software developer. FamilySearch is one of the leading family history companies in the world. While there I got to learn even more about my family. I was able to discover my great-grandmother Pearl Alice Dalby experienced a stillbirth at 6 months gestational age. Years later, when I was going through my pregnancy losses I was able to look to her for strength.
If you can I would encourage you to seek stories of your family, as you learn about them and their struggles you will feel connected to them and find so much strength. If you are wanting to start learning more about your family, I highly recommend FamilySearch. FamilySearch is a non-profit organization and is free to use for everyone. Ancestry and MyHeritage are also great options. Enter in the data for what you already know about yourself and your parents. Then ask your relatives to see what information and stories they might have. Eventually, you will be able to start searching historical records to find out who your ancestors were and know some of the trials they faced. This connection can bring you spiritual strength as you face your challenges.
Sacred Texts
It seems every major religion has some form of a sacred text. The Jews have the Torah which is the first 5 books of Moses. Islam has the Quoran, and Christianity has the Bible. In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, "We believe the Bible to be the word of God as far as it is translated correctly; we also believe the Book of Mormon to be the word of God." (Articles of Faith 1:8) I've linked to two videos in the quote if you are interested in understanding more about my belief in these scriptures. The Book of Mormon and Bible work hand in hand to testify of our Savior Jesus Christ, and of the love that God has for us.
Reading scriptures has always brought me a lot of peace and helped me to find spiritual strength. My earliest memory of reading scriptures was when I was about 8 years old, my mom had just given me my first Bible and Book of Mormon. I opened up my bible to Genesis, and I remember feeling so happy and peaceful as I read about the creation of the world. In my youth I struggled with nightmares, I found that if I read God's word before bed I didn't have any nightmares. Later in my early teens, I found peace in Proverbs 3:5-6, "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." This scripture is still among one of my many favorites and has helped to strengthen my faith as I go through infertility and pregnancy loss. While I sometimes struggle to study God's word regularly, I know when I take the time to open my scriptures, I always feel his comfort, love, and peace.
As you may have seen earlier this month I'm trying to study the scriptures about women in the bible who experienced infertility and share my insights. Here is my post about Eve - Infertility in the Garden of Eden.
Takeaways for Training Your Spirit
While you may or may not believe exactly what I do, I hope that this post has given you some ideas that may help you strengthen and train your spirit for improved mental health. I would love to hear what things help you feel closer to God, do you have a sacred sanctuary, a scripture that brings you peace, or an experience where you felt God's love?
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