4 Tips to Train your Body for Better Mental Health

As you are going through infertility or a pregnancy loss, have you ever noticed your mental health effects on your body? You may feel extra tired, but you can't sleep. You might be extra hungry, but nothing sounds appetizing. Even a headache can be a reflection of our mental health. While our mental health can take a toll on our body, our body can also improve our mental health. Let me share four tips to help train our bodies to invoke better mental health as you experience infertility or pregnancy loss rollercoasters. (I'll be sharing four more tips next week)

1. Deep Breathing

2. Yoga

3. Progressive Muscle Relaxation

4. Sleep Training

Note: This is the second in a three-part series that will discuss ways to train your mind, body, and spirit as we cope with negative emotions due to infertility, miscarriage, or stillbirth. The tips shared here will also affect the other two because the mind, body, and spirit are closely connected. I also want to note here that I am not a trained professional. These are simply tools that I have personally found helpful.

1. Deep Breathing -

Have you ever noticed the adrenaline rush when an unfamiliar barking dog approaches you, or you are almost hit by another car? How long does it take for your adrenaline levels to return to normal? A few moments, hours, days? Adrenaline is helpful in situations in which we need the "fight or flight response" this is a biological mechanism to protect us from harm. However, we get this adrenaline rush when there is no immediate danger in many instances. An example of this might be public speaking or unexpected situations. Intentional deep breathing can help us calm our bodies back down quickly for improved mental health.

You will feel instant relaxation as you breathe deeply into your diaphragm (your belly should pop out with little to no rise in your shoulders). Deep breathing can take multiple forms, and there are many techniques, but here are a couple of tips that I’ve found helpful to help with learning how to breathe deeply to activate the relaxation response.

• Singing/Voice Lessons -

Choral Rendezvous 2012

I spent a large part of my high school and a small amount of college experience participating in various choirs and voice lessons. It wasn't until recently that I realized that I always felt calmer after choir practice or voice lessons, and I like to think that it was because we were learning deep breathing for proper breath support to sing. If you are interested in learning how to sing, you may find that voice lessons can also teach you proper deep breathing techniques.

• Stop, Drop, and Breathe - This is one way I like to time deep, slow breaths.

  • Stop - As you inhale through your nose, count in your mind to 6, then stop and hold for two counts.

  • Drop - After you have held for two counts, you let your breath drop as you slowly exhale through your mouth for eight counts.

  • Breathe - Continue to breathe in and out in this fashion until you feel calm and relaxed.

• Daniel Tiger - I realize that watching a children’s show may be triggering for some (if it is, please don't torture yourself!) However, as I have watched Daniel Tiger with my daughter, I have learned several lessons on how to practice calming myself down and having better mental health from the little jingles in each episode. One of the jingles goes like this "When you feel so mad that you want to roar, take a deep breath and count to four" then they do it. It is a great kid’s program; I’ve learned a lot of coping skills, and I love knowing my daughter is learning those skills much earlier in life than I ever did.

There are so many ways to learn how to breathe deeply. I already talked about mindfulness meditation last week. And I'm going to go more in-depth on yoga and progressive muscle relaxation below. All three of these are tools that you may find helpful in learning how to breathe deeply, and the ones I listed above.

2. Yoga -

Yoga is connecting the body and the mind

As I mentioned above, yoga is an excellent tool for learning how to breathe deeply, but it also teaches you how to calm your mind and find inner peace. Yoga also has other great physical fitness benefits stretching and strengthening your body.

There are many types and levels of yoga, and you don't need to be an expert to get the benefits. You can find many free online videos; I like 30 Days of Yoga with Adrienne. You can find many paid programs or find classes at your local gym. I think it’s essential to find one that suits your level and that you enjoy. If the course is too hard, you aren't comfortable doing yoga in a public gym, or the instructor has an annoying voice, you will lose interest. And last but not least, relax and enjoy the process of connecting your mind and body.

3. Progressive Muscle Relaxation -

I was first introduced to progressive muscle relaxation back when I was serving a mission for my church, but I didn't know that it was called progressive muscle relaxation. I found that doing it right before bed helped me to drift off to sleep much more effortlessly. Essentially progressive muscle relaxation is a tool to help you relax your body gradually. This exercise is usually done by laying down. As you lay on the floor, you focus all your attention on one body part at a time, tensing and then relaxing it. You can do this once, or twice then you move to another body part.

Imagine you are lying down looking at the clouds

I prefer starting at my toes and working my way up, though some people prefer to go from head to toe. Most often, people start with their toes, then their feet, and move to their legs, back, stomach, fingers, arms, shoulders, neck, eyes, ears, mouth, jaw, etc. I don't know that the exact order is essential, but you are consciously and progressively moving through your body as you tense the muscles and relax them. Many free guided progressive muscle relaxation exercises are available (YouTube, Fitbit, etc.) You can find one you like or even record your own. But to get started having a guided exercise is helpful.

4. Sleep Training -

Sleep improves your mental health.

I always find sleep a fascinating piece in the mental health puzzle. For some people, depression and anxiety either make us extra "drowsy" or may cause "insomnia." After a major car accident, I experienced some severe depression/PTSD tiredness where I lay in bed pretty much anytime I wasn't at work. I had low energy. Even though I was tired and in bed, I usually didn't sleep, at least not restfully.

Interestingly studies have found that getting good sleep is one of the best ways to improve our mental health. Sleep and insomnia are learned skills. With this in mind, if you are experiencing insomnia or not sleeping deeply enough, you can learn skills to get better quality sleep. Learning how to get a good sleep takes time and practice, so here are a couple of tips to improve your sleep:

• Relaxation Exercises - A wide variety of relaxation exercises can help relax the body before bed. As part of your bedtime routine, practicing deep breathing, yoga, or progressive muscle relaxation exercises can help relax the body and the mind. As I mentioned in my last post, mindfulness meditation is another great way to clear your mind so you can drift off for better restful sleep.

• Avoid Electronic Screens – I’m sure you’ve all heard this one. I know the temptation all too well. When the day is done, all I want to want to do is scroll through social media before I hit the pillow. However, when I look at my Fitbit sleep cycles, I can see a considerable difference between nights when I spend time on my phone or watching TV versus when I decide to read a book instead. I find it can be helpful in my bedtime routine to put my phone in a location that is not within reach of the bed. I put my phone in my bathroom or my desk where I can hear the alarm, but I won't be tempted or thoughtlessly grab it right before bed. I’m not perfect at this, but I try to put my phone away an hour or two before I plan to go to sleep.

• Remove Distracting Lights and Sounds -

Lights and sounds can disrupt your quality of sleep

I don't think I realized how much light and noise were impacting my sleep quality until I removed them. We live in the south, so we have a dehumidifier to help control the humidity of our bedroom/bathroom. While it has an excellent lulling sound, I first turned it off because the light was so bright, but I realize now that the sound was also disrupting as it kicks on and off. I invested in an outlet timer that automatically turns off at bedtime and back on in the mornings. I've since removed other minor light sources and put my phone on "do not disturb" mode during sleeping hours so that it doesn't light up or vibrate. I’ve even considered getting myself an eye mask to block even more light.

• Keep a regular sleep/wake schedule - Your body likes rhythms. Having normal sleep and wake cycles can help your body sleep better. I don't usually stay up late for those who know me well because I'm a bear if I don't get 8-10 hours of sleep. Depending on your lifestyle, this one can be easy or tricky. We typically try to put our daughter to bed around 8 pm and then start our bedtime routine. Once we are through our routine, we usually are in bed by 9:00 pm. I would be up around 6 am to start my day before my daughter gets up in a perfect world. However, if I feel drowsy, I will stay in bed until 7-7:15ish. Everyone will be a little different, but find a schedule that works for you and your family.

• Find the right temperature - Another vital factor to consider when sleeping is getting the right temperature. If you are too hot or cold, your body may not get the rest it needs. You typically want the temperature between 68 and 72 degrees. You can change the thermostat or even try different sheets, bedding, or even pajamas.

Sleep is so hard to get sometimes, but getting quality sleep is one of the best ways to improve our mental health. I want to invite you to try just one of these sleep techniques tonight and note how you feel in the morning.

Takeaways for Training Your Body

I hope you learned something helpful today to help train your body for better mental health. I challenge you to pick just one thing from this post to practice over the next few days and note how it makes you feel. Please share your experience on social media or share it in the comments below. Please also feel free to share your ideas on helping to train the body for better mental health.

P.S. I'll share four more tips on training the body next week for better mental health.