Tori's Story - Even Miracles Take a Little Time

Katherine Hobbs
Nov 20, 2023
6 min read

Updated: Nov 22, 2023

I'm so thankful for Tori being willing to share her story. Tori and I met four years ago at a Starbucks in California to discuss piano lessons (I wanted to improve my skills). I feel that Tori and I connected from the start. She and I love music, are deeply religious, and believe in God. While our friendship began playing the piano, it grew as we sought God in our trials. Tori is my prayer friend. Whenever I need extra prayers, I know I can ask Tori to offer a few extra ones for me. Tori's story is unique in that both she and her husband have infertility factors. Ultimately, they needed to turn to IVF (In Vitro Fertilization), which resulted in the miracle of twin girls. As the fairy godmother says in Cinderella, "Even Miracles Take a Little Time." Their journey took some time, hard work, and pain. They are now the parents of two precious princesses.

Tell us a little bit about yourself:

I am a mommy of two precious twin girls! I love Jesus with my whole heart and would be lost without him. I am married to a Navy chaplain and have been married for eight years. I love Disney princesses, singing, and playing piano. And I also love to drink coffee!

What do you want people to know about your experience?

I went through infertility, surgery for endometriosis, IUI, and finally, IVF to have my sweet baby girls!

This is what I learned:

Don’t lose faith. Faith is the most important thing you can have during infertility. Faith that God WILL keep His promises, that He sees our hearts' desires, and that even when WE CAN’T SEE IT, HE IS WORKING ON OUR BEHALF.

I love this verse about Sarah (Abraham’s wife in the Bible). Hebrews 11:11 says, “It was by faith that even Sarah was able to have a child, though she was barren and was too old. She believed that God would keep his promise.”

When you are in the midst of infertility, know that God is ON YOUR SIDE, and HE IS FIGHTING FOR YOU!

He has great plans for you and LOVES you SO VERY MUCH!

What would you tell yourself if you could return to this experience?

Don’t give up; it is going to be okay. God is working every single detail out “behind the scenes” so you can have your dream come true. It will happen; don’t give up your faith. In the meantime, enjoy what you have before you. Enjoy your time with your family and the blessings God is giving you RIGHT HERE AND NOW.

What is something someone else said or did or that you wish they did to help you?

When I went through IVF, I had to receive 98 shots and go through an egg retrieval procedure. My friend who did IVF before me told me that IVF moms are “special moms!” This really helped my mindset when I had to suffer from doing IVF shots and going through the egg retrieval procedure and everything that comes with IVF. I told myself that I am a special mom because doing IVF and suffering through it shows me HOW MUCH I LOVE MY BABIES BEFORE THEY ARE IN MY TUMMY!!!! It showed that I was being selfless so I could have a baby, and someday, my babies will know HOW MUCH I WANTED THEM!

What is something hurtful or triggering from this experience?

I hated it when people would tell me, “You can just adopt.” Yes, adoption is an AMAZING thing that helps kids who deserve loving parents and is the right path for some people, and it was something I did consider, but when someone has a dream of having their own baby, it is like saying to give up on their dream.

People don’t think about what they say. I know no one said it to be mean; it just triggered hurt.

What advice would you give someone going through a similar experience?

You are a special, amazing mom for doing IVF!!!! You are showing SELFLESS LOVE to your baby BEFORE they are in your tummy! You are showing them what a selfless mother looks like!!!

Every time you do a shot, tell yourself, “I’m doing this for my baby, and it will be worth it!”

What advice would you give to someone who is holding on to self-blame?

IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT! Bad things happen to good people because of the brokenness in this world. It is not a punishment from God. He wants to bless you, and He will make a way around this bad situation to bless you! He is always working behind the scenes!

If you look at all the women in the Bible who experienced infertility, their baby who was eventually born was exceptionally important and exceptionally fantastical! God had a fantastic plan for each baby that was born from a couple struggling with infertility!!!

Abraham and Sarah went through infertility and then had Isaac, and then a whole nation came from Isaac!!!

Zechariah and Elizabeth went through infertility and then had John the Baptist, who paved the way for Jesus’ ministry! Jesus said in Matthew 11:11, “I tell you the truth, of all who have ever lived, none is greater than John the Baptist. Yet even the least person in the Kingdom of Heaven is greater than he is!”

How has this experience affected your relationship with others?

It has made me have more empathy for those who have infertility!!! You don’t know what it is like until you go through it!!!!

"Even miracles take a little time" - Fairy godmother

How has your spirituality and relationship with God changed?

Struggling with fertility and going through IVF and surgery for endometriosis was a challenge, especially since I had complications from my surgery and went through excruciating pain. I did question why God let that happen to me when I have followed Him so faithfully my entire life, but God showed me that He didn’t want me to suffer. He loves us and WANTS to bless us and help the desires of our hearts to be fulfilled. What really helped me is understanding that bad things happen to good people because of our broken, sinful world and that GOD TURNS BAD SITUATIONS AROUND FOR OUR GOOD. In my situation, my and my husband’s infertility situations (we were both dealt with the bad cards) were turned into receiving TWO BEAUTIFUL BABY GIRLS!!! And I can’t imagine having one without the other!!!!!!!! It truly has been the desire of my heart to be a mommy for so many years, and now that I am a mommy, I am sooooooooooooooooooo thankful with my whole heart and can look back at all the suffering I went through and say it was worth it!

*“Way Maker” was my favorite worship song during this time.

What forms of self-care do you find helpful?

Reading the Bible and doing devotions refreshes my soul so much! I found spending time with family (those who really love you) helpful! When I was struggling with infertility, I got really depressed, and my mom told me once, “You are ENOUGH for me. If you don’t have a baby, YOU are ENOUGH for me.” It changed my perspective into thinking of myself as a daughter-not only a person who wanted to be a mommy. I started trying to have fun with my mom, and I tried to put my focus on other things instead of constantly focusing on my infertility. Definitely cling to loved ones!