Teal, We Meet Again

I'm sure we all can clearly remember the difficult circumstances of 2020 due to COVID-19. Many of us began new hobbies while cooped up in our homes. This is a little embarrassing because I didn't know what I was doing, but I started a makeup YouTube channel during the pandemic. While short-lived, I was on an exploration of colors in cosmetics, and I especially found colored mascara interesting. I purchased a tube of teal mascara from Younique that was fun to wear paired with a contrasting orange eyeshadow.

It was in December of 2020 that I was rushed into an emergency surgery due to an ectopic pregnancy. One of the things that I remember as I was being wheeled down the hallway by the nurses after my surgery was a comment about the teal mascara I was wearing. At the time, I didn't realize it would become a symbol to me of my pregnancy losses.

Teal mascara after surgery

We remember our angel babies for October's Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. The color for this awareness month is pink and blue, symbolizing our babies as boys or girls. Some people who have experienced pregnancy loss know that they had a boy or girl, or they get a spiritual impression. I never got one of those, and I've often felt like the dress in Sleeping Beauty, being changed from pink to blue and back again as I try to think if my baby was a boy or girl.

Sometime after my miscarriage in 2022, I realized that for my story, the color teal much better represents my loss. Around the time of my due date, this teal-colored butterfly came to flutter around me and my daughter. I believe it was a tender mercy from God to help me honor my baby.

Teal combines blue and green, often associated with calmness, serenity, and healing. When remembering my babies either on their original due date or the date of their loss, I think to myself, "Teal We Meet Again" (pun intended). I firmly believe that I will get to hold my babies in heaven one day, and while Teal may not apply to the pregnancy losses for everyone, it is the color I've found to represent my healing and my remembrance of the babies I never got to hold.

In the comments below or on social media, I would love to know what color(s) you would pick for representing your losses. Why do you feel that color fits? Did you know if you had a boy or a girl? Did you get a spiritual impression or uncertainty if they were a boy or girl?