Remembering My Baby Strawberry

Today marks two years from when I miscarried my baby. This time is bittersweet because my daughter Alessia was born almost exactly one year after my miscarriage. Today, my baby strawberry would be 1 1/2 years old. As with Acacia, I didn't feel ready to name baby strawberry (nicknamed while in utero) after the loss. Today, as I remember my baby, I want to tell you why I picked their name.

In my post "Teal We Meet Again," I share that I don't feel strongly that my baby was a girl or boy. However, I love picking symbolic names, so for that purpose, the name of my baby strawberry is Pyper Chorley. Let me tell you a little bit about why I decided on this name.

Pyper

In our excitement to finally find out we were pregnant after a previous loss and infertility round 2, we decided to share our miracle birth announcement on Christmas day. I staged everything under the tree several days before with a reference to the Christmas carol, "Silent Night."

That morning, when we went to my in-laws, I snuck a small wrapped sock into their stockings with an ultrasound picture. They shared in our excitement as they learned they would have another grandbaby.

Just a few weeks later, I went in for my first appointment with an OB after graduating from the fertility clinic. The ultrasound tech immediately noticed there was no heartbeat. There are no words to describe the silence that filled the air. The only sounds I remember are the tech repeatedly saying, "I'm sorry, I'm not finding a heartbeat."

Following the miscarriage, I purchased a Willow Tree angel holding a flute and shared our disappointment. With the Christmas carol announcements and flutist angel figurine, I felt that my baby needed a musical name. Pyper means "pipe or flute player."

Chorley

I wanted to pick something that would connect my babies to my family. I love tree names; my girls have trees in their names. So, I want to continue the pattern of using a tree name. It was hard to narrow my list of tree names to one that would be symbolic. I thought of Holly, Muyrrh, or Francinsence since it would fit the Christmassy feel. I considered Linden for its heart-shaped leaves or Oak for its red color.

While searching through different tree varieties, I found a strawberry tree. Yes, the berry-looking fruit on the tree is edible; however, it is not as yummy as strawberries. I also don't think strawberry sounds like a name for a baby. Upon further investigation, the common name for a Strawberry Tree in the United Kingdom is Chorleywood. And as you may guess, I dropped the "wood" and picked Chorley. I know it's not a name you'll find in the baby name lists, but I think it's pretty cute. It's almost a variation of Charley, at least in its pronunciation.

What will I do today to remember and honor Pyper Chorley?

I recently got some designer-series strawberry printed paper that I will make into a handmade Thinking of You card. I plan to share it on my new Instagram page, StampPun It Up with Katherine, for my handmade cards.

I also plan to watch Christmas in the Smokies because it was the movie I watched to distract myself while going through my miscarriage. Ironically, the film is about a berry farm at Christmas time.