Rebekah & Infertility- "Why am I thus?"

While going through infertility or a miscarriage, have you ever asked God, "Why is this so hard?" Or maybe after you've conceived, you are struggling mentally or physically through your pregnancy, and asked the same question as Rebekah in the bible, "Why am I thus?" (Genesis 25:22). We don't know much about Rebekah's infertility besides that it was over 20+ years before she conceived. Still, we know that she had a difficult pregnancy, and I think there are many things about Rebekah's life we can learn from as we experience difficult things.

Note: This is the fourth of many posts about men and women from the scriptures who experienced infertility. Also, you may note that I will use references from The Holy Bible in this post.

Camels store fat and water to endure the extreme weather conditions of the desert.

One of a Kind Woman

Before we get into Rebekah's infertility and complicated pregnancy, I want to look at her background to see what kind of person she is. Understanding important character traits can give us extra insight into context and understanding of her situation. Rebekah is a young girl living in the City of Nahor; she is Abraham's great-niece. She will eventually marry Isaac, but her story begins with Abraham's servant, whom Abraham asked to find a wife for his son.

When Abraham asks his servant to find a wife for Isaac, he specifies that the servant should not seek a wife in Cannan, where they live but go to Mesopotamia, where Abraham still has extended family, which will be Rebekah's family. Abraham wants his son to marry the very best, someone who has faith in God and will help Issac to be the best he can be. (Genesis 24:1-9)

Abraham's servant travels with ten camels, and when he arrives at the city of Nahor, he stops at the well just outside the town and prays to God to help him find a wife for Isaac, just as Abraham had asked him to do. (Genesis 24:10-12). Abraham's servant is pretty specific in his prayer. Abraham's servant tells God that he will ask a damsel to give him a drink, and if she offers to water his camels, he will know he has found the right wife for Isaac. (Genesis 24:14) I admire his faith here, that he knew God would answer him. Even more impressive is that before he finishes his prayer, a damsel, whom we later learn is Rebekah, is already coming to the well for water. (Genesis 24:15)

We first learn that Rebekah is that she is "very fair to look upon, a virgin neither had any man known the like unto her" (Genesis 24:16, JST). Essentially, Rebekah is beautiful and virtuous. Something unique about her sets her apart from all other women. What happens next will give us some insights into something that sets her apart.

Not Afraid to Do Hard Things

Abraham's servant asks Rebekah for a drink of water, just as he specified in his prayer. Rebekah then offers to water his camels "until they are done drinking (Genesis 24:19), which is precisely what Abraham's servant had asked God for as a sign. Watering camels until they are done is no small feat! A camel can quickly drink between 20-50 gallons of water because they store it in their bloodstream for strenuous desert trips. Abraham's servant has ten camels, so if you do the math, this is 120 gallons at a minimum, but likely much more since they have just finished their trek across the desert.

One camel can drink between 20-53 gallons at a time.

From the scriptures, we learn that to water the camels, she draws water from the well, empties it into the trough, and runs back to do it over again. Now I don't know how big Rebekah's pitcher is, but I imagine she made a lot of trips back and forth to water the camels. Likely, thirsty camels probably emptied it by the time she returned to the trough with more water. I don't know about you, but I think this sounds exhausting, and I would probably burn out before I've finished watering one camel. So when Rebekah responded precisely as Abraham's servant had asked God to do, there must have been something extraordinary about Rebekah for her to offer to water ten camels of a stranger "until they are done drinking" (Genesis 24:19)

Those going through infertility, miscarriage, stillbirth, or other pregnancy complications know it is hard! I pray we can strive to learn from Rebekah and not be afraid to tackle the hard things. And have the strength to endure the complex daily challenges we each face.

I Will Go

When Rebekah has finished watering the camels, Abraham's servant asks who she is and who her family is. When he learns that she is part of Abraham's extended family, he must have been very confident that he has found Isaac's wife. He goes to her family and explains his mission and how God answered his prayer. When Rebekah's family hears his story, they say, "Behold, Rebekah is before thee, take her, and go, and let her be thy master's son's wife, as the Lord hath spoken." (Genesis 24:51)

The following day as Abraham's servant is preparing to leave with Rebekah and return to Canan, Rebekah's family requests that she stay at least ten days. Now, Abraham's servant is anxious to get back on the road and return. Ultimately, they will ask Rebekah what she would like to do. Rebekah says, "I will go" (Genesis 24:58). I have to admire Rebekah's faith and courage. She is faced with a difficult choice, as she may not see her family again after leaving with a stranger to a strange land. But she is fearless as she trusts in God.

We often face difficult choices when faced with infertility and pregnancy loss, but like Rebekah, we can move forward with fearless faith in God. We can trust that God will be with us despite the scary unknowns. In Rebekah's case, knowing she was far from her family while going through infertility may hit home for some of you. My immediate family doesn't live anywhere close to where I live, so visits are relatively rare. However, unlike Rebekah, we have cell phones and computers to keep in contact with our family and friends.

Praying vs. Entreating

As many of you know, Rebekah does go and marry Isaac, and Isaac loves her. We don't know much about their early years together except that they experienced infertility for 20+ years. The scriptures don't emphasize Rebekah's barrenness as much as Abraham and Sarah's. We only get a few verses, one of which describes Isaac entreating "the Lord for his wife, because she was barren" (Genesis 25:21), and we know that after Isaac begs the Lord, Rebekah conceives.

I find the word entreat interesting in this verse as they could have quickly just said Isaac prayed. I find it hard to believe that Rebekah and Isaac weren't already praying for children. Based on everything we know about Rebekah's character and Isaac's miraculous birth story, I'm confident they were praying with faith to God for their family.

In my experience, sometimes my prayers can become relatively routine while others can express my innermost feelings. And quite honestly, there have even been times when I didn't feel like praying anymore. If we look at the definition of entreat, "to ask (a person) earnestly; beseech; implore; beg:" (dictionary.com), it is a particular form of prayer that is very deep and heartfelt. I can almost envision Isaac as he is on his knees imploring and begging God to answer their deepest desire to be parents.

I think there must have been something unique about this prayer Isaac offered as he earnestly prays to the Lord on his wife's behalf for God to answer it. So we must make a conscious effort for our prayers to be deep and heartfelt and ensure they aren't daily regurgitations.

"Why am I thus?" (Genesis 25:22)

After Rebekah conceives, she "feels the children struggle within her" (Genesis 25:22). Now, Rebekah probably didn't know she was expecting twins. Still, I imagine she must have been feeling some difficult pregnancy symptoms. As I've been preparing for this post this past week, I've struggled with my own challenging pregnancy symptoms. I can't help but relate to when she says, "if it be so, why am I thus?" (Genesis 25:22). She's just been through a long battle of infertility, and to have a difficult pregnancy, instead of complaining, she turns to the Lord in prayer.

I admire her faith in asking God why he has given her this complex challenge. I think that those of us going through infertility, a pregnancy loss, pregnancy after a loss, or a complicated pregnancy due to mental or physical challenges, we can always turn to God and ask him why we must face these difficult things.

Takeaways

I hope you've enjoyed learning more about Rebekah, who, despite hard things, continued to trust in the Lord fearlessly. I hope from her strength; we can find the strength and courage to face our infertility, recover from loss, or endure the challenges of complicated pregnancies. We each have a unique story, and I would love to hear what helps you to find strength, courage, and trust in God! Please share on social media!