Rachel's Journey with Infertility

The biblical story of Joseph in Egypt is one of my favorite stories. As I've been studying the story of his mother, Rachel, and her struggles with infertility, I cannot help but have a deeper connection to this story. As you read this post, I hope you also find a link to Rachel.

Last month, I shared my insights about Rebekah and Issac, who struggled for a long time with infertility, then had twins, Jacob and Esau. Rebekah and Issac told Jacob to go to Padan-aram to seek a wife "of the daughters of Laban," who was Rebekah's brother. (Genesis 28:2).

When Jacob gets to Padan-aram, he goes to the well, the same well where his mother Rebekah watered all the camels of Abraham's servant. A lot of time has passed since then, and a stone has been placed over the well. Jacob talks with the men who have brought their sheep to be watered and asks if they know Laban. As it happens, they not only know him but also point out Laban's daughter Rachel, who is bringing her father's sheep to be watered. (Genesis 29:2-6)

Maybe this is the hopeless romantic in me, but Jacob goes and "rolled the stone from the well's mouth, and watered the flock of Laban, his mother's brother." (Genesis 29:10). Now, maybe Jacob was trying to be nice, but to me, it sounds like he was trying to show off for Rachel.

Rachel runs home to tell her father that Jacob has come. Laban then comes out to greet Jacob and brings him home. Jacob and Laban reach an agreement that Jacob will work for seven years so that he can marry Rachel. Jacob does, and those seven years "seemed unto him, but a few days, for the love he had to her." (Genesis 29:20). Isn't that so romantic!

After Jacob worked those seven years, Laban was a little sneaky on the wedding night. Instead of bringing in Rachel as the bride, he brings in her older sister Leah. I think it's important to understand the dynamic between the sisters that they were constantly being compared. "Leah was tender-eyed; but Rachel was beautiful and well favored." (Genesis 29:17). As I understand it, "tender-eyed" is not a compliment. Laban must have felt that she wouldn't ever get married unless it was under this guise.

When Jacob realizes in the morning that he has married Leah and not Rachel, he approaches Laban about it. Laban says it's customary to have the older sister marry before, the younger. Trying to smooth things over, he says that Jacob can marry Rachel in a week if he agrees to work another seven years. (Genesis 29: 25-28)

Infertility Jealousy

Anyone with sisters knows there is easily a bond of jealousy that can exist in different degrees. For Rachel, I can only imagine how she must have felt when her father "ruined" her wedding day by giving her sister to Jacob instead of her. For Leah, I can only imagine how she must have felt presented as a bride to Jacob by her father, knowing that Jacob had asked him for Rachel. From the beginning, there was intense jealousy that formed between Rachel and Leah.

As we read in Genesis 29, Leah gets pregnant quickly and gives birth to Reuben, followed by Simeon, Levi, and Judah. (Genesis 29: 32-35) I don't know exactly how much time has passed, but I imagine 3-4 years of infertility while your sister is getting pregnant over and over again must have been challenging for Rachel. I'm sure we can all think of family members and friends who get pregnant quickly and easily while we are working so hard to get pregnant once.

I have no hard feelings toward my family members, but almost all my married sisters and sisters-in-law have gotten pregnant and given birth at least once while on my infertility journey. We feel a sting and natural jealousy as we remain infertile while others fall pregnant. However, we are still happy for those we love.

Strained Marital Relationships through Infertility

Finally, Rachel realizes "she bare Jacob no children" (Genesis 30:1), so she talks to Jacob about it. She says, "Give me children, or else I die" (Genesis 30:1). Can anyone relate? I've often felt I would "die" if I didn't have a baby.

Jacob gets mad at Rachel and says, "hey, it's not my fault" (non-scriptural elaboration). In reality, Jacob says, "Am I in God's stead, who hath withheld from the fruit of the womb?" (Genesis 30:2). I can recall many conversations with my husband where I was trying to express my frustrations about infertility. He usually said something about it working out in God's time. I knew everything was according to God's plan, but I was not generally satisfied with that answer. I'm sure you can think of times you and your spouse didn't exactly see eye to eye about infertility.

Rachel acts similarly to Sarah with Abraham. She asked Jacob to take her handmaid Bilhah as a third wife. Bilhah would be a "surrogate mother" so that Rachel could "have children by her" (Genesis 30:3)

Did Leah Have Secondary Infertility?

Bilhah conceived twice, giving birth to Dan and Naphtali (Genesis 30:5-8). The time to have both children would probably have taken about 1 1/2-2 years. Meanwhile, Leah didn't have any children. The scriptures say, "When Leah saw that she had left bearing, she took Zilpah her maid, and gave her Jacob to wife." (Genesis 30:9). Leah seemed to have reason to think she should have conceived, or she wouldn't have given her handmaid to Jacob as a 4th wife. I realize this is just speculation, but given the time that had passed, I suspect that Leah may have had a small encounter with secondary infertility. Zilpah conceived twice and gave birth to Gad and Asher. (Genesis 30:10-13) We know that Leah eventually does have more children, so she probably wasn't infertile due to menopause.

Infertility Desperation

I imagine biblical medical practices were pretty rudimentary. However, many believed that certain plants and herbs contained specific medicinal properties. In this story, we learn about mandrakes. No, not the same screeching mandrakes we see in Harry Potter. According to my bible dictionary, "The Hebrew name denotes 'love fruit.' The fruit had a pleasant taste and odor and was supposed to ensure conception" ("Mandrake," Bible Dictionary)

Reuben, Leah's oldest son, was an older boy by this time since he had seven younger brothers. He came home one day with some mandrakes, which he gave to his mother. When Rachel saw the mandrakes, she was desperate to have them, presumably for their fertility benefits. (Genesis 30:14) I know I can relate here; when going through infertility, we have probably all done crazy things out of desperation to conceive. I'm sure there are others, but to name a few, I've heard of: eating pineapples, taking special supplements, using fertility crystals, etc.

When Leah sees that Rachel wants the mandrakes, she agrees to give them to Rachel if she gets to sleep with Jacob. (Genesis 30:15-16) I won't profess to understand the cultural intricacies of plural marriage during this time, but since Rachel was the favorite wife, she had some say in how often Jacob slept with the other wives. The trade must have paid off for Leah because she conceived twice and gave birth to Issachar and Zebulun. Leah conceived again, giving birth to Jacob's only daughter, Dinah. (Genesis 30:17-21)

"God Remembered Rachel" (Genesis 30:22)

Have you ever felt like God has forgotten you? I know I have! While I have felt this way, I don't think God can forget us. We are his children, and he is all-knowing. If he forgot us, I think he would cease to be God. When it says "God remembered Rachel" (Genesis 30:22), I think it's saying Rachel felt that God remembered her. She must have felt alone and forgotten, and when she finally conceived Joseph, she felt God's love for her. I can relate to when I was struggling with primary infertility. I often felt abandoned and forgotten by God. However, when I finally held my daughter in my arms, all the pain and suffering from infertility seemed to melt away as I felt God's love. God doesn't forget us; we don't always understand his timing and plan.

I'm not sure how much time passed before Rachel conceived Benjamin. I think some time has passed because they have several chapters preparing to travel back to Canan. However, Rachel dies in childbirth while on this journey. (Genesis 35:16-19) There is an irony that Rachel dies in childbirth, given that she demanded Jacob give her children or she would die. It would seem she got two children, then she died.

Sacrifice

Something I find interesting is that Rachel died in childbirth in the very same town where our Savior, Jesus Christ, was miraculously born, Bethlehem (Genesis 35:19). The name Rachel means "ewe," a female sheep. Rachel sacrificed her life for her son to be born. Just as Christ, the Lamb of God, sacrificed himself for us. We sacrifice a lot as we try to have our families. We must turn towards our Savior, who sacrificed everything for us and turn our troubles over to him.

Takeaways

Rachel's death is a tragic ending, but I hope as you have read about Rachel and her story, you were able to relate to her experiences with infertility. Rachel experienced pain and jealousy as those around her conceived easily. Rachel didn't always agree with her husband about infertility. Most importantly, Rachel felt forgotten by God, but he was always there.